This month I got a chance to read a book that had been on my radar for awhile. Interabled by Hannah and Shane Burcaw . The book deals with a topic I haven’t seen dealt with that much elsewhere. The book focuses on the issues and challenges faced when one member of a couple is disabled and the other is not.
Synopsis
If the reader knows nothing about the issue one might expect, surprise or even disgust at the topic. However it is handled with care, wit and humor. And instead of focusing on the idea that these relationships aren’t inherently more difficult. The book instead focuses on the joy that these unique relationship provide to those involved.
The book follows the lives of several couples with different disabilities. The book is interspersed with Hannah and Shane’s own antidotes. It also gives information about the ups and downs of their own interabled relationship.
Hannah and Shane are very open about the issues that come up in their relationship. One topic they focus on a lot is the issue of care giving. Non-disabled individuals often see care giving as just something one does when a partner is sick.
However when disability comes into the mix, people wonder how someone can find someone else attractive when they are responsible for their partner care. The task that most often come up are things like daily living tasks like cleaning and wiping the other person. The book works against against the assumption that care giving is a burden a part on relationships. The writers instead frame it care giving as a chance to find more intimacy and become closer as a couple. Hannah and Shane have gotten a lot of flack online for their life choices. An example of this is their choice to live with Hannah’s parents to deal with care giving.
While this book just follows a small portion of their life, it gives us insight more insight into the lives of these popular Youtube stars.
Review
As I am disabled myself this issue is one that is close to my heart. I can sympathize with many of the disabled individuals within the book. I know how difficult it can be to find a partner who will accept your disability. I enjoyed the fact that the book focused on a wide range of different disabilities. As someone who has both physical and mental disabilities it was nice to see both aspects covered in the book.
Though there was a good deal of focus on serious physical disabilities like muscular dystrophy and blindness. However the couples mentioned in the book often pointed out that disability was only secondary or even tertiary in importance. Instead they cited their similar interests or other things that had brought them together.
The book’s main drive was about disability’s role in relationships. It can play a part, but it isn’t necessarily a negative one. The couples noted that some of the care giving, which the larger population can find demeaning and disgusting. These couples felt the act of care giving actually brought them closer together. They also felt they had a stronger connection than some other couples.
This book also makes me thankful for my own partner. We are both disabled, though we have different disabilities. They are very understanding of mine and always thinking of me. I try and be just as understanding to them. I agree with the main point of the book that caring for one another in ways that are seen as different can bring people closer. I’d give this book 4 stars. While I loved the topic and the different interviews. I was hoping that the interviews would be longer and show a bit more depth into the topic.
This is not some much a problem with the book. It is written as popular fiction intro to the topic for people who don’t already have an experience or opinions. It’s just my personal preference.
Do you like non-fiction or social science books? Have you read any good ones recently? Let me know about them in the comments.
Happy reading,
Solara
Rose's Book Garden 